Lifesize Cardboard Cutouts!

New Super Cute Justin Bieber Cardboard Cutout

cute justin bieber standee

New Justin Bieber Cardboard Standup Poster

AALLLLLL I NEEEEDDD IS A BEAUTY AND A BEAT! WHO CAN MAKE MY LIFE COMPLEEEETTEEE! IF I WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND, NEVER LET YOU GO! I’ll be your beauty, Justin! You bring the beat! I’ll be your girlfriend, make your life complete! See what I did there? ;) But seriously, who doesn’t L-O-V-E Justin? With great hair, tons of “swaggie”, not to mention his awesome voice, who wouldn’t die to be his girlfriend? (curse that Selena…) Justin’s on top of the world right now and no one can deny it.

Starting from humble beginnings with his mom in Canada, Justin struggled during his childhood, but rose to fame quickly after being discovered by Scooter Braun. While some thought the whole “Bieber Fever” would only last a year at most, Justin’s third album, Believe, has sold unbelievably well, and with sold out concerts all the time, nobody can say he shouldn’t be famous.

Because Justin’s such an amazing artist and person, tons of people will want something Bieber-related this Christmas, and what better than a Justin Bieber cardboard cutout! I know there’s nothing I want more under the tree – or mistletoe! With a swagalicious outfit and awesome hair, this picture will look great anywhere! A bedroom, media room, kitchen, living room, the possibilities are endless. But wherever he’s waiting, he’s sure to love you! Justin Bieber cardboard cutouts are THE BEST gift idea for anyone with Bieber Fever!

Just look at this new cardboard cutout of Justin. He looks so cute with his gorgeous hair and his nice black shirt and pants with a white t-shirt. I would love to have this cardboard Justin standing in my room … AND I WILL! You can too, if you’re fan enough :)

Click here to see the great prices on all the Justin Bieber cardboard cutouts!

Today’s Cardboard Cutout Comedy…
The Stars Align – JB meets 1D!
Starring cardboard Justin Bieber and the cardboard cutout versions of One Direction

A girl carried the Justin Bieber cardboard cutout into her room and placed it in the corner, pressing her hand to her lips then to his face before she left, closing the door behind her. As soon as the door clicked into place, a group of boys over in the corner released themselves from the poses of their cutout posters and one of them started speaking to the others.

“Okay guys, we have a lot coming up. We need to prepare for the concert tomorrow night, and then we have to rehearse “Little Things” for that talk show appearance later this week. Okay, let’s start with my solo.”

“You always get all the solos, Zayn!” Another whined. “It’s Niall and I that are just stuck singing backup! Remember in “Stand Up” when all Niall got was the echo part?” (Stand Up … what a great song for a bunch of cardboard stand ups to sing :)

“Yes, Louis, but Niall did get the “OW!” part in “Heart Attack”,” the first said tiredly.

“Look guys,” an authoritative voice broke in wearily, “we all get good parts sometimes, but some more than others. Actually it’s usually based on vocal ability and the only reason Niall got the part in “Heart Attack” was because he threatened to leave the group if we didn’t give it to him and we needed someone from outside England to make it ‘international’, plus he drinks like an Irishmen which widens our audience.”

“Hey!” An angry Irish accent broke in, “At least I can hold down a bottle, mister ‘I was born dead and now my kidneys are messed up’!”

“Nice one!” a cheeky voice spoke (cardboard Zayn Malik).

“Yeah, you can’t fool all of us with that like you do the fans, acting all innocent and weak just like when you tell the recording people that you use auto tune!” Cardboard Harry Styles said.

“I would pants you during our next concert if only you didn’t wear those blasted suspenders with capris all the time, plus it would just create more bromance rumors, like we didn’t have enough with Larry Stylinson!”

“Ummm … excuse me, but who are all you?” said cardboard Justin from the corner. The five boys glanced up surprisingly from glaring furiously at each other moments before. As they turned to face him they arranged themselves into a well-practiced pose, as seen on the cover of the J-14 teen magazine.

“We’re One Direction of course! The cardboard cutout versions that is.” The guy in the middle (cardboard Harry) explained slowly in a thick British accent, astonished that he didn’t know who they were. He flipped his long curly bangs out of his face as he returned the question. “Now who do you think you are?”

The band looked Justin up and down then smirked at each other confidently. Just another 1D cardboard cutout wannabe, Louis thought, then became excited, that was a great rhyme for a song! Maybe he could even work it into a solo for himself!

“I’m Justin Bieber,” the lone boy said plainly, also amazed that they didn’t recognize him .. even in cardboard cutout form. Surely, he thought. Surely they aren’t Cody Simpson cutout fans. “I’m a big star here in America, but based on your accents I wouldn’t expect you to know that…Are you all right?” he asked Niall, who seemed to be having a seizure on the floor, though not taking his eyes off Justin.

“Blimey,” he said, returning to his feet. “You’ve changed a lot since we’ve been on the X-Factor. See, we couldn’t have any computers there so I didn’t know you changed from that adorable little pre-puberty munchkin into this trying-to-be-bad-boy-but-not-succeeding ‘hipster’ that still hasn’t hit puberty but used auto tune to make your voice sound lower in your interviews and songs. And you cut your hair and depleted the ozone layer to make your hair stand up like a total jerk would.”

“I’ve matured, right?” Justin summarized, flashing a cocky grin. The light reflected off his unnaturally bright white teeth and blinded the guys, making them fall to their cardboard knees in agony, covering their eyes with their hands. Over the screaming Justin grinned, “Works every time.” To the door he shouted, “Come on in, Scooter!”

Sauntering in with a heavily tattooed man behind him, Justin’s manger took in the sight of five pop star stand up posters writhing in pain on the ground with an expression like Christmas had come early.

“Brilliant, JB! What did you do this time? Teeth?” Justin nodded, and Scooter smiled happily. “So, about ruining their careers, I think they’re better competition than cardboard Cody Simpson, so we should probably do something more drastic than spray tanning them to an oompa-loompa shade. I brought Bob here to give them tattoos. What do you think they should say?”

“Hmmmm,” said cardboard Justin, stroking his chin and grinning mischievously.

An hour later the boys’ foreheads were permanently engraved with the words ‘Idiot’, ‘Fool’, ‘Stupid’, ‘Moron’, and ‘Auto Tune’. Though they weren’t screaming in pain from their eyes anymore, the boys still couldn’t see, making them completely at Justin, Scooter, and Bob’s mercy. After telling them they had a way to get their sight back, Bob set out to work on their tattoos while Justin shaved their heads and Scooter hacked onto their phones and posted insulting things on all their twitter and Facebook accounts right after he told Simon he was a cotton-headed ninnymuggin and lost their jobs, blacklisting them from Hollywood and making them the most hated cardboard cutouts in the world.

“Okay guys,” Justin told the boys with their eyes closed as he walked out the door, “you probably won’t regain your vision for a couple more hours, and when you do you might have some hallucinations, but don’t worry, just go see Simon and tell him he’s your favorite person ever, okay? Well, bye guys, I’ve got to go blackmail cardboard Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen standee, don’t want them stealing my spotlight. Lates!”

And with that, cardboard Justin Bieber left to go destroy more careers, not caring about promoting himself, just tearing down others.